Tithing our time

I read an author interview recently in which the author was asked how she manages all her responsibilities and still fits in writing time.

I imagine all women writers, with our huge guilt complexities, could gain much from this author's response. I know I do.

This particular author said far more eloquently, but you'll get the just of it here, that she believes if one tithes their time to the Lord, He will provide for their every need. That includes writing time for those of us summoned to craft in a writerly fashion.

Tithing time to the Lord.

The multitude of ways in which to do just this is mind boggling. Beyond the daily bible reading, devotional enrichment, and my newest daily challenge of The Love Dare in which I'm now on day 37, there is prayer time, Sunday School teaching, and just generally trying to incorporate my growing faith in my everyday life. And, yes, I do have writing time, so God in His graciousness does provide!

What about you? Do you find you gain more writing time when you tithe your time to the Lord? I even find His words inspire the faith journey my characters experience. What a great way to incorporate your daily time with Him into your work, isn't it.

On an aside: Like I said, I am on day 37 of The Love Dare challenge. Though I am attempting to make this challenge for the whole family, I discovered that on occasion the dare is specific enough that only your spouse can reap the reward of that day's challenge. My husband especially likes day 32 and encourages me to revisit that one often. Bless his masculine heart!

If you haven't got hold of a copy of The Love Dare book, I encourage you to hunt for one. It's worth the effort!


Surrendering to Him,

Eileen

A heavy heart...

"I don't know which vehicle you're talking about." Confused hubby responds to the telemarketer on the phone line just as the chicken breasts are about to come off the grill.

"Is that the extended warranty company calling again?" I feel angst rising as I ask dear hubby. I often get these calls from this supposed vehicle warranty company. This has been going on for months, and every time I follow my way through the tedious automated system to arrive at the "remove me from the call list" option. I select the appropriate key to assure myself of never being bothered by this generic telemarketing company with no known name, at least not one they're willing to admit to.

Since there is a law in Ontario that demands companies honour such "do not call" requests, I get exceedingly peeved at each consecutive call I receive from this "unknown" company. The rare time that I managed to speak to a real person on the line, they hastily hung up on me when I suggested that they were breaking the law by continuing to harass me.

But wait. Hubby has someone, a physical person, speaking to him on the line right now. A rare opportunity. Perhaps they'll listen to him.

"Yes, but which vehicle are you asking about?" Hubbies eyes dance from mine, to our eldest daughters, then settle on the ceiling. "We have two. Which one needs the warranty extended?"

"Tell them to take us off the calling list." My tone is none to pleasant. I've had enough of this scam. It's got to stop.

"Is it the Dodge?"

What on earth is hubby doing? He's giving them personal information? Is he nuts? "They call me at least twice a week." I blurt, a decibel higher, and rising. "Tell them to take us off their call list." I pronounce each word with labored precision. I know he hears me, but hubby turns to face eldest.

"Excuse me, what is this company again? Is this for the Dodge or the F--"

"Don't give them information." I YELL. "Tell them to take us off the call list."

"I'm sorry, if you can't provide the information of what you want to cover then I'm not interested." Click. Hubby hangs up.

I go into a tirade.

Hubby shakes his head saying, "I'm sorry."

Eldest defends her daddy and deems me as totally unreasonable, and not in any kind way.

Heat rises, the stack is about to blow. I mean, how many times need I ask my husband, the man who supposedly respects me, to plainly request that we be taken off the call list? Maybe coming from a man, they'd actually have listened. Maybe if our eldest had witnessed him carrying out my request, she'd discover I was worth an ounce of respect.

How I'd be blessed by that.

Not a chilly piece of flesh on me anymore even with the minus 12 draft flowing in from the open patio door behind me. Inside me, though, now there's plenty of ice to be found in there. Major lost opportunity to rid us of these tedious, inconvenient, and most annoying repeated phone calls. And to stoke the fire, should the flame not be scorching the heavens enough, the eldest has found yet another reason to hate me.

Make note: Never lose my cool with dear hubby in front of eldest ever again.

But hubby is not a stupid man. He's dealt with telemarketers before. He knows I deal with them constantly as I'm home full time, and he knows how much they annoy me. Trust me, he knows. So why did he ignore my very CLEAR, very EXPERIENCED request?

And why have I allowed a telemarketer, a person who has no name, who knows nothing about me or my family, with the exception of the fact that we own a Dodge and a F-- vehicle now thanks to dear hubby, to ignite such upheaval in our home?

There are so very many things I should have done differently here.

For starters, the fact that dear hubby had the "no name" telemarketer stealing his attention through the earpiece should have registered as to why he wasn't hearing me. That in and of itself would have kept me from the tirade that sent our eldest into Daddy defensive mode, which ultimately ended with her disrespecting me to the point of being silenced with a grounding.

Coincidently, today is actually the first day that I didn't get a chance to read the Love Dare since starting the challenge. I had been doing so well with eldest since starting this daily ritual, and now, the one day that I didn't open with it's mighty words of wisdom, I find myself failing miserably as a mother and a wife once more.

Life is too precious to allow "no names" to steal happiness from you.

Life is too important to allow "no names" the power to set tomorrow's mood.

Eldest and dear hubby deserve better from me. I'll see to it that they get just that.


"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee;I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10

An Interesting Revelation

As I work my way through the daily Love Dare challenges, my whole family being the subjects for these instructions on learning to love unconditionally, I discovered that with my husband, I always have the “honeymoon” stage of our relationship to fall back on when we hit a challenging mogul. Memories of when all was wonderful provides a framework to find balance. But with my children, there isn't such an "all rosey" memory lane to grab hold of and bask in for just a little while. Not really.

You see, I've known each of them from the day of conception. I've loved them and nurtured them even before I ever laid eyes on them, or got to hear their soft cooing baby chirps, or take in the wonderful scent that only clean babies have. In amongst all of those warm fuzzies, though, I dealt with morning sickness, uncomfortable somersaults beating at my ribs and bladder, years of nighttime feedings, diaper changes, nursing scary fevers, and so much more, all interwoven with the "honeymoon" niceties of getting to know my little cherubs.

There's absolutely no clear delineation of a "honeymoon" stage when it comes to our children. We've loved them in complete truthfulness, full disclosure, all their lives.

That made me think--is that why we don't divorce our children? Are our expectations of our children more Godly, more realistic, than that of our spouses because of the history between us?

Is it those who put too much merit on the "honeymoon" stage, rather than use memories of it to help calm the waves, that succumb to falling out of love with their spouse? How is it that we can continue to love our children through the toughest of circumstances, but yet with the one we chose to love, honour, and cherish till death do us part, many allow themselves a way out?

As I struggle with the tragedy of divorces mounting all around me, I have to ask, what separates the survivors from the succumbed?

Blessings,

Eileen

Taking The Challenge

A few days ago I blogged about the movie Fireproof. The concept of this movie has invaded my mind ever since seeing it. So much so that I just had to physically hold and peruse the Love Dare. I couldn't wait the long weeks ahead until my ordered copy arrived in our post office box. Impatience, unfortunately, is one of my many less-than-desirable virtues.

So off I drove in my wonderful new minivan (which my amazing hubby purchased for me and my family recently) to get my eyes on a copy displayed in a local Christian book store. Lucky for me they had several copies, paperback and the imitation leather version which I have on order. The actual DVD of the movie, however, was sold out. Twice already. They're waiting on the arrival of their third shipment.

Anyway, I wanted to start this love dare challenge immediately, so I made note of the first couple weeks worth of dares to hopefully take me to when my very own (at a reduced price) copy arrives from Amazon. (Don't worry, I did purchase a couple CD's and the actual Fireproof novel from the store in said visit, so they did get a good sale out of my impatience, too.)

I decided right away that my whole family could benefit as being recipients of the love dare carried out by me. For the most part my impatience, quick to anger, yadda, yadda, yadda, is turned on my three independent, out-to-teach-their-mom daughters, not my hubby, really. Though I have a feeling as I progress through this challenge I may be very enlightened! Actually, I pray that I am. As all my family, hubby and daughters deserve to live with a better, more Christian-centered me, and that's exactly what I hope they receive through my carrying out this challenge.

Yesterday the dare basically boiled down to "be nice". The whole, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I've never been so silent in my life.






Just kidding!

But I did catch myself a couple times with my oldest daughter and quickly altered my responses to fit into the realm of "being nice". When she complained about something that I have absolutely no control over, like it not being a snow day once again, and had the nerve to blame said fact on me. Instead of straightening my back and spitting back a nasty "grow up", I commiserated with her. Really, I wasn't in the mood to make yet another set of lunches, either, so we did have something in common. If you can't fight 'em, join 'em, seemed to work, and suddenly I was no longer the perpetrator of her miserable start to her day, after all. And what could have gone on as a negative pre-school morning, was nipped in the bud by my awareness of the day's challenge, and we parted amicably, opposed to miserably, as could very well have been the case.

Not a bad start to this challenge I'd say!


Blessings to All!

Eileen

Fireproof

Having heard about this new release through a couple of blogs, I visited Rogers Video and picked up a copy to see what all the hype was.

WOW!

Okay, I totally agree that some of the acting (from some of the volunteer supporting actors) could have used further coaching/training, but the story IS amazing, regardless! And with a second pass through the acting follies seemed far less intrusive. The main character played by Kirk Cameron, best known for playing Mike Seaver on Growing Pains does a great job as Caleb Holt, the fire captain with a need for an awakening on the home front. An awakening he gets when he agrees to carry out a 40-day Love Dare that his father sends him to be completed before filing for divorce.

Okay, I'm in no way pondering divorce from my dear hubby, but after seeing this movie and hearing about this challenge, I want to take the 40-day Love Dare. Not only for the enrichment it can provide our marriage, but for the spiritual growth I'm sure it will bolster. What an amazing concept!

As an aside here, I have to tell you about something that happened at church yesterday. Yes, I do believe it may be related to the impact that Fireproof had on my dear hubby the night before.

Setting the scene: Phil and I most often sit up in the balcony of our small country church for Sunday service, mainly because we often arrive late (we much prefer the original start time and seem to be sticking with it despite the ramifications), and as a bonus of sitting upstairs, the pastor never picks on anyone sitting way back and up there when she takes a notion to include unsuspecting members in her sermon. A huge bonus for me.

Well, yesterday, our pastor barely warned that she was going to pick on a few people by asking them directly what they were passionate about. Of course, me feeling confident that I was very safe sitting up there in the balcony didn't concern myself with being pinned with the question to share aloud. I just automatically thought justice/fairness/equality, the usual things that stir my ire if I see an unbalance anywhere.

But after the picking was done, and yes, the balcony was safe once again, doesn't my wonderful hubby turn to me and say: "If asked, I was going to say Eileen."

Now I can't say for certain if that wonderful gesture by my amazing hubby was a) due to watching Fireproof with me the night before and he gleamed something valuable from it, too, b) the honest truth, with or without watching the movie, or c) his way of trying to provide a funny for the congregation that Sunday morning. Though I suspect it was a mixture of all three, c) probably rated the highest, but it certainly made me think once more of the impact watching Fireproof had on me, and yet my first response to Ellie's question wasn't "Phil", so now more than ever, I do believe I need to take the Love Dare Challenge.

What about you? Are you interested in it?

Here's a link to learn more about the movie and the 40-day Love Dare. (Just click on those previous bolded words for the link) Once in the link, click on the available trailers of the movie. I laughed and laughed at the second trailer available. It's called Fireproof in 60, and fast forwards through the movie with some major tweaking to give you the just of the story in 60 seconds, but man it comes off way too comical for how serious and emotional the actual movie is. But great for a good laugh. Also, visit http://www.fireproofyourmarriage.com/ for more information on the movie and Love Dare concept.


Blessings,

Eileen