what pulls you back on track? How do you shift gears into a useful, worshipful, serving state of mind and action again?
When my list of to-do's overwhelms me, like when contemplating all I have to do to prepare for an upcoming conference so that my investment in time and money won't be wasted, I often discover depression taking over me. There doesn't seem to be a gradual digression, either. One minute I'm plugging away at conquering that to-do list, and the next, blackness descends.
The frenzy inside me boils and irritates. I see no great solution. Giving up creeps in. But I fight it because somehow that doesn't sound like it would be pleasing to my Heavenly Father. I know He expects more of me than this. This nothingness, bleak attitude, self-destructive depression isn't from Him.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." II Timothy 1:7
A sound mind I have not, right now.
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee" Psalm 55:22a
I inhale. Envisioning His breath of life taking over. Swishing, like waving hands would to clear a room quietly and respectfully, He unsettles the destructive, defeating molecules that threaten His rightful inhabitants. Like dust motes, the enemy scatters at His command. Heaviness becomes lighter, freer. Peacefulness enters. A sense of control, direction, resumes.
Just take one small step at a time. Trust that if you serve, worship, and obey, all that is required will be accomplished. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
And so it is. Praise God!
Surrendering to Him,
Eileen
6 comments:
Eileen, you have such a beautiful heart, so full of desire to seek God first and being in line with His will. I'm sorry things get so overwhelming, but your goal is the right one and God can and will pull you back up, dust you off, and set you on your merry way. He will open the doors at the conferences and will pave your way for you. I can't wait to hear about your adventures and all you learn at them! God bless you, girl!
I'm so glad you've found a way to defeat the depression. My to-do list doesn't usually depress me (though sometimes I feel depressed for other reasons). Rather, it makes me snappy and really just a witch. It's wise of you to put the Word in your post because it's what reins me in too. Depression or a bad attitude, the Bible always makes me feel better and works on my heart.
Nice post.
WHen I feel overwhelmed, I find that I need to just pick one thing and do it and then do the next without thought attached to it until it is done. Then I feel better. It's easy to get down about things that come up in our life--isn't it wonderful God listens to all our needs?
Thanks Eileen! I can always count on your blog to put things back into perspective! You have a way of helping us to focus on what's really important and centering our thought back on the Lord!
Hey, My Encouragers:
Thanks for your beautiful words and council. Prayer and seeking His word really does help me. Despite my frenzy and sudden depression, I still managed to get over a thousand words into my manuscript yesterday and make the snitzel my daughter had been bugging for. It always takes forever to get done, so I know that was adding to my stress.
But all is good, when God pushes the negative out and sends peace in return!! I'll never understand how non-Christians manage the tied of moods. Too much for me to handle alone, for certain.
eileen....you are such a barnabas! i'm grateful for you. :)
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