Anyone for a Useless Dialogue Beat?

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when an itty-bitty beat that does no more than tell the reader who is speaking is the right way to go.

He said. John said. She said. Vivian said.

But, then there are those other times when the opportunity to use a beat to REVEAL something wonderful really should be considered. Say you have a long string of dialogue happening. If you stick with the boring he said, she said beats, the reader may be at risk of nodding off, at the very least, they may not see anything, but rather only hear faceless dialogue.

An example of using the useless beat method:

“I’m so sick of getting asked to do it all.” Trish said.

“Give it a rest, Trish.” Mom said.

“You never get on Miss Princess’ case to do chores.”

“She did it last time.”

“ She never does.”

“I did so, Trish, you’re such a liar.” Miss Princess said.

“Stop it! I’m so sick of you kids believing you have no responsibilities in this house. Your dad has even had enough of it so I’m not being unrealistic. That’s it. Cancel the sleepover. ”

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it.”

“Too late.”

“You can’t be serious. I said I’d do it.”

“You’ve got one hour to let me cool down. Use it wisely, and I’ll give you my answer then.”

(Names have been altered to protect the accused.)

Now let’s use the exact same dialogue but with some REVEALING beats and see the outcome.

Trish stomped into her mother’s room. “I’m so sick of getting asked to do it all.”

Her mother looked up from her laptop, feet propped on the worn black ottoman. Just great. She’s back to writing.

With arched eyebrows, her mother responded. “Give it a rest, Trish.”

“You never get on Miss Princess’ case to do chores.”

“She did it last time.”

“ She never does.”

Stomping down the hallway warned Trish that Miss Princess was going to get nasty.

“I did so, Trish. You’re such a liar.” If her sister didn’t have the dog in her arms, she might have stuck her foot out to trip the little princess in her quake.

“Stop it! I’m so sick of you kids believing you have no responsibilities in this house. Your dad has even had enough of it so I’m not being unrealistic. That’s it. Cancel the sleepover. ”

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it.” Trish watched Miss Princess slip out the door. Probably smiling.

“Too late.” Her mother’s nostrils flared. This was bad.

“You can’t be serious. I said I’d do it.”

“You’ve got one hour to let me cool down. Use it wisely, and I’ll give you my answer then.”

Do you see a positive difference? Does it ground you in the scene any better than the first version? Does it reveal the characters more so than what we can gather from the first try? Lots more can be done with this dialogue piece, but for the purposes of this post, I hope it shows how you can improve dialogue by putting even a little effort into creating unique beats.

Question for you: When are revealing beats distracting?

Until next time, may your beats enhance your dialogue, and write on…

Surrendering to Him,

Eileen