A Writing Tool Just A Click Away

The sun is shining, the humidex is climbing, the story is flat lining, the horse is wonderful, and the weeds are a pain. Yes, that sums up my life as of late. Missing you all. Lifting you up in prayer as I chauffeur daughters here and there, weed a lot, take care of Donner, and procrastinate from figuring out impossible story fixes.

But this post isn't about me, just thought I'd give you all an update, though. :)

I have something far more wonderful to share today. Many of you have probably already been blessed by knowing Jeannie Campbell, aka, The Character Therapist, but if you haven't, you're in for a real treat. She is a living breathing writing tool with a wonderful blog filled with character therapist reference info that's invaluable in creating three-dimensional, realistic characters. If your character has baggage, or even if he/she doesn't have a sordid past, the first place to go is Jeannie's blog to see how you can make he/she ring true to life.

Here's a short Bio on Jeannie Campbell:

Jeannie Campbell is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. She is Head of Clinical Services for a large non-profit and enjoys working mainly with children and couples. She has a Masters of Divinity in Psychology and Counseling and bachelors degrees in both psychology and journalism. Two of Jeannie’s “therapeutic romance” manuscripts have garnered the high praise of being finalists in the Genesis Contest for unpublished writers, sponsored by the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), of which she is an active member. She writes a popular monthly column for Christian Fiction Online Magazine and has been featured in many other e-zines, newspapers, and blogs.

I hope you will all head over to Jeannie's new website and blog to find a writing tool worth bookmarking for good! Charactertherapist.com

May your characters draw your readers into their world, and may they help your readers grow too! Till next time, may life be a swell of sunshine and happiness to you and yours.

Surrendering to Him,

Eileen

A Valentine Book Giveaway!

Hello, All:

Sorry I've been absent for a while here in cyberspace. Planning for possible renovations is taking far more energy and concentration than I ever expected. Good for the winter blues for sure, but costly on the writing and blogging. Now that a professional designer is on it, I hope to get life back into some semblance of normalcy around here.

But, hey, Valentine's Day is upon us. I've bought the munchkins and hubby a little something to celebrate, and I also bought an extra copy of Betsy St. Amant's A Valentine's Wish for a giveaway to one lucky blogging buddy. So leave a comment with your snail mail addy if you'd like to be entered in the drawing. I'll have one of the munchkins draw the lucky winner sometime on the big day and let you all know the winner on Monday, February 15th's post, which happens to be Family Day here in Ontario so I'll have the whole family home for three days straight this Valentine's weekend. Yippy!!! Love it when that happens.


Here's a peak at the first page:
Unemployed. Single. And out of brownie mix.
Lori Perkins tapped her nails against the open pantry door. Canned vegetables and peanut butter crackers were nowhere near sufficient for this kind of low. She rested her forehead against the frame and blew a strand of dark hair out of her eyes. It really wasn't her fault—well, maybe two of the three problems were. She probably shouldn't have quit her job at the aquarium gift shop before the administrative position across town was a done deal, and she definitely should have gone to the grocery store before her chocolate stash ran out. But her single status was most certainly not of her own choosing. Add the fact that Valentine's Day was mere weeks away, and it became official. She was broke, hungry and destined to be alone.

The cordless phone on the counter jangled a shrill ring, and Lori snatched it up while peering one more time at the contents of her bottom shelf. "Hello?"

"Lori? I can barely hear you. Are you in a tunnel?" It was her friend Andy Stewart, the youth pastor at her church, L'Eglise de Grace.

She stretched one arm toward the back of the shelf. "No. The pantry."

"Searching for chocolate, I assume."

"Funny." So what if she'd become a little predictable over the years? Lori fumbled around a jar of peanut butter and felt a crinkly wrapper. Maybe a forgotten candy bar? No, just another package of crackers. She let out a huff. Was a little chocolate too much to ask for a girl having one of the worst days of her life?

"Are you all right? I can call back."

Lori shut the pantry door with a loud click and rested her back against the wooden panels. "I need chocolate."

"You're out? How is that possible?"

"Gracie helped me finish the last of my emergency stash."

"And she didn't refill?"

"There wasn't time before the wedding." She supposed Gracie had more important things on her mind at the time, like planning a honeymoon. Excited as she was for her friend's new life, Lori couldn't help the flicker of jealousy in her stomach. Happily-ever-after endings apparently weren't meant for everyone—her ex, Jason, had proven that point well enough.

She slammed the brakes on her runaway train of negative thoughts. "Look, is there a point to this conversation, or can I finish my desperate search for relief now?"

"Ouch. Bad day?"

"Did you not hear me say I'm out of chocolate?" Men. The cute ones cheated, and the funny ones were dense. Take Andy, for example. They'd been practically best friends for how long now—two years? Three? And he'd never once considered Lori as anything more.

Though it was probably for the best. If bitter thoughts of Jason still crept in her subconscious, she wasn't ready for more. The need for chocolate intensified, and Lori squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if she pretended hard enough she could—

Andy cleared his throat. "How about I bring over some chocolate doughnuts? I have something I need to talk to you about."

Lori stopped the no from automatically rolling off her tongue. She preferred to indulge in her chocolate bad moods by herself, but without the chocolate, the bad-mood part sounded pretty lonely. "Fine. See you in twenty."


Leave a comment for your chance to read the rest of the story!

Surrendering to Him,

Eileen

The Bartered Bride and Book Giveaway

I'm so pleased to be a part of Erica Vetsch's blog tour for her debut novel, The Bartered Bride. Please read on to learn more about Erica's publication journey and a chance to win a copy of The Bartered Bride.

1) I understand you wrote the first draft of The Bartered Bride in five weeks. I'm curious, were there any scenes that you had to force yourself through in that time? If so, do they remain in the published version and did they require major rewriting?

Erica: This book fell together in a really amazing way for me. I don't remember struggling with any particular scene in the first draft. I've struggled more with subsequent books, and there are scenes from those that have gotten major revisions or cut altogether, but for The Bartered Bride, it survived the editing process intact.

2) You took about one month for revisions of The Bartered Bride to polish it before sending out to your critique partners, was there much revision required after seeing their critiques? How much longer did you work on it before submitting to Heartsong Presents?

Erica: I do remember getting dinged by my crit partners on one scene in the book where my heroine was coming across as too juvenile and petulant. And one scene I reworked myself to make it more realistic in my own mind. Those revisions took about a week or so, then it was off to the ACFW Conference to pitch it to an editor.

3) Publishing success has come full force at you since signing with HP.. Congratulations Erica on having six books contracted. How many of those books are ones you had completed before The Bartered Bride, and how many are slated to be written yet? Are you now selling on proposal?

Erica: The time line went something like this: The Bartered Bride written the summer of 2007. The sequel, The Marriage Masquerade was written the Spring of 2008 while waiting to hear back on The Bartered Bride. And because I thought the long silence from the editor indicated a strong possibility of a 'no sale' for The Bartered Bride, I began working on the first book in a new series called Clara and the Cowboy in the summer of 2008.

In the fall of 2008, The Bartered Bride was contracted at the ACFW Conference, and a few months later, Heartsong aquired five more titles from me. I'm currently working on the final book in those two series.

I am selling on proposal now, which has its upsides and downsides. Upside, I don't have to write an entire book then hope that someone is interested in it. Downside, I have to know more in advance what's going to happen in the book, and as a reforming seat of the pants writer, this is difficult.

Thanks so much Erica for sharing a little of your publication journey with us.

Now, before I share the back cover blurb of this fast paced, wonderful novel, I just have to toot a horn for this story. Really, I can't say enough about this novel. I'm not a huge historical fan myself, and I'm the universes slowest reader, so when I read this book in under a 30 hour time span, which included sleep, the usual family and household responsibilities, and writing over 4000 words into my own manuscript, you've got to know it's a good one. And as a writer, it's one I intend to dissect for sure. But certainly couldn't the first time through because it just kept me glued with its entertainment value. Seriously, if you haven't got a copy yet, pick one up, order one, or hopefully win one (which you can do by leaving a comment with your email addy in this post by Wednesday morning when I'll do the drawing.)

Back Cover Blurb of The Bartered Bride: Jonathan Kennebrae is furious when his grandfather informs him that his future has been decided. He will marry Melissa Brooke or be disinherited. Jonathan has invested years of his life in Kennabrae Shipping, but heaven help him if Grandfather decides to take it all away for this.

Melissa, too, is devastated when her parents make their announcement. As little more than a bargaining chip in her father’s business maneuvers, she feels her secure world slipping away. Engaged to marry a man she has never met—someone “considerably older” than herself? What have her parents done?

Can Jonathan and Melissa find a way out of this loveless marriage, or must they find a way forward together?

You can order a copy of this wonderful novel by clicking here.

Book Giveaway: Don't forget to leave a comment with your email addy to be entered into the drawing. I'll draw a name late Tuesday and announce the winner on Wednesday, Dec. 2nd. Good luck everyone!

This giveaway is closed now. Thanks all for entering!

Surrendering to Him,

Eileen

Save the Penguins... and a Book Giveaway

We interrupt my Love Is... Friday post for a peek at author Betsy St. Amant and her debut Steeple Hill Love Inspired novel Return to Love that released this month, July 2009.

Return to Love is a fun read! I loved the penguins in it, especially their names. And the youth group involvement brought back so many fond memories for me. The main characters, Gracie and Carter, were well developed and I could connect with and understand each of their reservations and concerns. Betsy St. Amant offers some wonderful one liners in this novel too. She had me chortling more than once at her unique characters.

I'm really looking forward to her next story, A Valentine's Wish, being released February 2010 by Steeple Hill LI as well.

Betsy was kind enough to answer a few questions for me. So here they are:

1) Your writing is so fresh, fun, and telling, Betsy. And I've just got to know where a couple lines came from. Lines like: "You're making a bird's nest out of French fries." and "Carter shifted in the dark theater, wishing he were sitting beside Gracie instead of Andy, who smacked popcorn like a six-year-old." Did these come from life experiences, or is this solely your creative mind at work?

Well thank you! I guess it was just my creativity coming through, because those lines weren't premeditated. That's when writing is so fun to me, in those moments where something funny or completely random pops out of your fingers onto the keyboard and you laugh at yourself. =)

2) I know you have another book contracted for Steeple Hill LI to come out in 2010, so can you tell us now that you're on the publishing treadmill, how long does it take you from start to submission to write an LI novel? And just for comparison, how long did it take you to write and prepare Return to Love before you submitted it?

I have two books scheduled for 2010 so far. The first is the sequel to Return to Love, titled A Valentine's Wish, which picks up with Lori's story at a chocolate boutique in the French quarter. It releases February 2010. My third Steeple Hill novel will release April 2010 and its a separate story, set on a dude ranch in Texas, titled Rodeo Sweetheart.

Now that I'm selling on proposal to Steeple Hill, I have to have my story plotted out, obviously, to make the sell. I have deadlines to work with now too, so obviously I am more motivated! On average, from proposal submission to turning in the final manuscript is about 4 months. Then of course the rest of the process varies over the next several months, back and forth with my editor--revisions, line edits, final galleys, etc.

Return to Love took me much longer to write compared to my second two SH novels because of the circumstances. I wrote the story and my agent submitted it. Then a few weeks later, SH sent me a revision letter, saying they were interested but would need to see major changes before saying anything about a contract. I made the revisions, resubmitted, and then was contracted. Upon contracting there were a few more plot tweaks, then line edits, etc. And WHEW, we finally had a book. =)

3) And lastly, what compels you to write short (55k to 60k word) category romances? You do it so well, that I'm assuming your compelled.

Well thanks!! I don't feel that way! haha!! I guess I do what I have to. Some stories it's easier to write "short", but other times its a struggle and I go over my word count and then have to cut. One day I do hope to publish my full length stories, I have several--but that's in God's timing! =)

And here's Return to Love's Back cover blurb: "I'm not the man I used to be!" - if only Gracie Broussard could believe that. Years ago, Cater Alexander broke her heart and betrayed her. Now, just when she needs him most, he's back--asking her to believe he's changed. But this time, it's not just Gracie who'll be hurt if he disappears. A penguin keeper, Gracie urgently needs to find a new home for her beloved birds. Carter is the only one who can help. He promises that she can trust him, that he's not the rebel he once was. And that he needs Gracie as much as her birds do.

Now, to order a copy of Return to Love, click here for the Amazon.com link. You can also try and win a copy through my blog by letting me know you want your name put in the drawing in the comment section. I'll draw the winner next Tuesday evening and post their name on Wednesday.

Good Luck Everyone!!


Surrendering to Him,

Eileen

An Interview with Kimberly Stuart and Giveaway of ACT TWO

Kimberly Stuart makes her home in Des Moines, Iowa, with her husband, Marc, and their two children, Ana and Mitch. She began her writing career by journaling during her daughter’s first year of life. At the never-subtle urging of her mother, she entered the University of Iowa Alumni magazine’s annual nonfiction short story contest. After winning the contest, she attended the Blue Ridge Writer’s Conference in North Carolina, where she met some key players in the publishing world who were able to jumpstart her career. She is the author of Balancing Act and its sequel, Bottom Line.

Stuart’s most recent novel, Act Two, released May 2008, and is the first of three titles to be published by David C. Cook. She continues to revel in God’s grace and counts among her treasures nap time, imported chocolate, and a good story.


Q: What do you like to do in your spare time? Hobbies?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: I’m going to forego commentary on the slightly injurious nature of the phrase “spare time.” I am the mother of two (three in August) young children and they, at least, do not see the value of those words. But hypothetically speaking, were I to come upon a windfall of time, spare or otherwise, I would run, not walk to our local bookstore and immerse myself in a good book. After several hours of literary indulgence, I’d skip down the street to the bakery and talk shop with the owner, pretending I know more than I do and serving happily as a taste testing lab rat should he or she need one. After a pecan roll or maybe a Dutch letter, I’d meet my husband at the market for some shopping, head home with him to our kiddos, and cook up something lovely to share with them. Husband, kids, books, food—a perfect stretch of moments strung together in one afternoon. MAN, I need to book a babysitter more often!


Q: If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: I would like to defer to my five-year-old daughter on this one as it’s been the topic of discussion for several of the last weeks. She would like the power to make her stuffed animals come alive with the touch of a hand. This, regrettably, creeps me out. But you did ask and I fear I’m merely a contemporary fiction writer and am woefully hemmed in to real people and real problems. Making stuffed creatures come alive is a problem I hope never to have to resolve, either in a book or in my living room. Ish.


Q: When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: When I was a child, I wanted to be a “seener” (singer). Mostly, I wanted to be Amy Grant. That’s right, people: I was into STRAIGHT UP AMY GRANT. The hard stuff, the early years, like “My Father’s Eyes,” and “El Shaddai.” I rocked out (with choreography) in our basement, next to a record player roughly the size of an Escalade and was wholeheartedly convinced of my musical and entertaining genius. If only I could have met her at the right time, perhaps post-Gary, pre-Vince, we could have toured together! She totally could have used a back-up dancer/singer! In fact, if you’re reading this, Amy, I’m still available!


Q: Where are you headed next?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: God willing, I’ll be giving birth to our third child in August, so I’m afraid I won’t be heading anywhere too quickly. Lactation seems to preclude so many of life’s adventures…In addition to caring for our growing brood and being really snippy with my husband for a few months due to sleep deprivation, I have two more books to write with David C. Cook. Act Two is the first of three, and I must ask you humbly to buy it within the next four minutes as it is time-sensitive material. And it’s a pretty good summer read, if I must be so bold. After Act Two will come two more. This will make a grand total of five books so far from the pen of Kimberly Stuart. Don’t place any bets that I’ll try to have as many children as I do books. When it comes to babies, those in print are much kinder on a uterus.


Q: What’s the most difficult part of the writing process for you?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: Making myself sit down each day and crank out new material, especially on days when I’m feeling about as creative as a paint tarp.*Pushing through the middle of a novel, when the characters have lost their initial intrigue and it’d be so much more fun to daydream about the NEXT story to write.*Getting out of the way of the story. That is, allowing the story to flesh itself out without coercion on my part.*Being able to, as Stephen King writes, “crucify my darlings,” to part with the elements, characters, plot movements that do not serve the story, no matter how fond I am of them.


Q: What part do you enjoy the most?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: Without question, hearing from readers who connect with, cry about, laugh because of the stories I write and then take the time and effort to let me know. Unbelievable and lovely.


Q: How do you find time to write?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: For every writer asked this question, I’m sure you’d get as many answers. At this time in my life and the life of my family, I write in the afternoons when my daughter is at preschool and my son is napping. This is unfortunate for two reasons: One, my toilets become gross because the time I used to devote to being Martha Stewart is now devoted to being Kimberly Stuart, a woman with far fewer housekeeping ambition and far more dust bunnies. Two, afternoons are not my most creative time, mostly because I’d rather be napping. So I’ve had to force my mind and my body into thinking one o’clock is Do or Die and that by the time Mitchell’s awake and Ana is home from school, I’d better have a new scene or I don’t get any chocolate for dessert. (Okay, that last bit is a stretch of the truth. Self-denial is overrated.)


Q: When you write do you generally know where you’re headed or are you sometimes as surprised as your characters about the way things end?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: I begin a novel with barely more detail than that which I’ve pitched to the publishing house. I have a feel for the main character, the overall arc of the story, the central conflict. But the ancillary characters, the chapter-by-chapter breakdown, how my protagonist changes and what takes her there, those all flesh themselves out in the course of writing the book. My genre, comedic fiction, allows for this kind of approach but I’m sure a mystery wouldn’t be as forgiving. One can hardly decide whodunit as an afterthought. So, yes, I’m often surprised by what happens in my books, how some characters become unlikely heroes or heroines, how others reveal secrets I hadn’t anticipated. All in all, it’s quite the entertaining way to write.


Q: What would you say to someone who wants to become a published author?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: Hone your craft. There are lots of fancy stories about getting one’s foot in the door to a publisher, how to get an agent, how to market oneself and one’s story. But the best way to ensure you’ll be ready to take on the publishing mayhem is to work your tail off at writing. Become your toughest critic (short of paralysis, of course), get up the guts to share your work with someone smarter and more well-read than you, spend the hours good writing requires. Most of a writer’s life is very quiet, unromantic, and isolating. Unless you’re ready to devote yourself to the less glamorous parts of writing a good story, you’ll be spinning your wheels for the time when a good break comes.


Q: Where did you get the idea for your book, Act Two?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: I can’t possibly reveal that to the blogosphere, and I say that only partly because I’ve always wanted to use the word blogosphere. The other reason is that this one percolated for awhile. There was no lightning bolt moment. But I will say that I’m always interested in putting quirky characters in situations that make them woefully uncomfortable and allow the reader to laugh with gusto both at and with the character. A New York opera diva on a farm seemed like a situation that might work for that purpose.


Q: What are the major themes of Act Two?

Kimberly Stuart's Response: Grace, redemption, my love and respect for both urban and rural dwellers, and the under-used gift of laughter.

For more information about Kimberly, visit her at http://www.kimberlystuart.com/. For a listing of the blog tour spots featuring Kimberly Stuart, please visit http://www.blogtourspot.com/stuart-blog-tour/stuart-blog-tour-stops/ .

Act Two by Kimberly Stuart

New Yorker Sadie Maddox is the toast of the classical-music world-and a
bit of a diva. But lately her CD sales are sagging, not to mention parts of
her anatomy. Maybe it's time for a change. So when her agent suggests a
professorship at a small liberal-arts college, Sadie decides to give it a go.
Besides, she needs the money.

But the college is in rural Iowa. Sadie's colleagues are intimidated, her
students aren't impressed, and she has to live far too close to farm animals.
When Sadie meets Mac, a veterinarian, she assumes they have nothing in
common-he is, after all, a country-music fan-and she's counting the days
until she moves back to New York. Yet, when Sadie is forced to spend time
with Mac, she likes him. Her students really need her. And this quiet midwest
community begins to grow on her.

But when the semester ends, Sadie packs up and decamps for the city
that never sleeps.and fi nds she can't either. Will she fi nd the courage and
grace she needs to embrace her Act Two?


Book Giveaway:

If you'd like to be entered into the drawing for a copy of Kimberly Stuart's Act Two, please leave a comment in this post with your augmented e-mail addy by Wednesday, July 16, 2008 at 9:00 p.m. Eastern time.

July 17th Update: The first lucky winner of Kimberly Stuart's Act Two was Deborah, but she was so lucky that she also won it elsewhere, so she offered to have a redrawing. Next one to win would have been smilinkyn, Kyndra, but I couldn't find an e-mail addy for her, so she had to be withdrawn too. Please, Please, Please, if you do not have your blogger id hooked to an e-mail address then you must include an augmented e-mail addy in your comment to be eligible to win.

So, now I'm hoping that the third person drawn will answer my private e-mail. Patty, if my e-mail got lost in your spam filter, please notify me via this comment section and I'll try again. Congratulations. I'd love to send this book off to you!


Good Luck, Everyone, and Blessings,

Eileen

ACFW's 2008 Writer's Conference

American Christian Fiction Writers is hosting their annual writer's conference in Minneapolis this year. I'm hoping to be one of the many attendees who will be learning, worshiping, sharing, socializing, and pitching with the masses that this conference attracts. Does that sound daunting to you? It does to me.

So why even consider attending, you ask? Why not stick with attending the smaller writer's conferences that my comfort zone can easily handle?

For several very good reasons, I'll point out my top three and then reveal some more from past attendees.

#1. Meet those virtual friends you've shared, studied, and learned with through the e-loops and forums. Meet your critique partners who have endlessly helped you with your manuscript and encouraged you week after week to keep writing and learning. Meet knew friends to share and learn along side.

#2. Learn from the best of the best through workshops, classes, through the plenary session, meals, and other quiet moments {but never in the restroom!}.

#3. The advantage of having a wide representation of publishers and agents available for specified appointments is for sure a big advantage of the larger conferences!

And, here are some reasons why members keep returning to the ACFW Writer's Conference:

“My experience has been that editors and agents just give you one extra little bit of respect because spending money and time on a conference shows a commitment to your writing.And remember to LISTEN when you're talking to an editor. Even if they're saying, 'no, you're work isn't what we're hunting for' you're learning about them, about your work, about the market, lots and lots to learn.” Mary Connealy

“For me, the #1 reason is networking. You can't beat the opportunity of having 450+ writers, authors, editors, agents and industry professionals gathered in one place. It's THE place to be if you write or want to write Christian fiction.” Tiffany (Amber Miller) Stockton

“The great classes and workshops! They always change, always have proven authors teaching them, and are always top notch. I’ve never had a repeat of any class. There are more fiction agents and editors at the ACFW conference than any other one. AND these editors and agents seem to mingle more at the ACFW conference.” Ane Mulligan

“I love the camraderie, fellowship, atmosphere, lessons, fun, worship, collaborating, and most of all....talking about FICTION!!!” Michelle Sutton Hutchinson

"After the first conference during which I met and fellowshiped with and took workshops from authors I admired, I was anxious to reconnect with them and make new friends, also to have the opportunity to pitch to more agents. And, in my case, to hear keynote speaker Jim Bell from whom I took the Mt. Hermon mentoring clinic.” Bonnie Engstrom

“The overall friendliness of those attending, the knowledgeable instructors, the wonderful spiritual aspect during general assembly, these are just a few of the reasons why I keep returning to the ACFW Conference. (Oh, yeah, the food hasn't been half bad either.) { :-)” Janice Olson

“My #1 reason is to network. I've got an agent now, which I didn't have the last time I attended. But it's worth a great deal to me, to hear what's on the editors' radar scopes to acquire for this year. Are historicals out or in? What about spec-fic? What are some of the publishers looking for, which have been absorbed into larger (secular?) conglomerates? What themes/characters/setups are they all sick of (hopefully not something I'm actively writing on right now, LOL)? And I go to see friends I can touch base with only online.” Deb Kinnard

“I return to the ACFW conference for the encouragement of being surrounded by people who understand the strange way writers' minds work and for the instruction. I always leave with a long list of ways and tools to improve my writing.” Cara C. Putman

“I love getting to talk to online friends face to face.” Lena Nelson Dooley

“Worshiping and learning with authors who also love the Lord.” Cynthia Hickey

“Truly, my number one reason for returning is divine appointments. Last year was my first time, and I had a specific reason for going. Obviously, God had another, because while my plans flopped, God blessed me through the relationships He gave me. I don't know what God has in store for me this year, but I'm open to whatever it is and very excited!” Jennifer AlLee

So you see, there are many great reasons to pray about attending the ACFW Writer's Conference, even when anxiety creeps in. Pray, then take a look at the selection of Conference Workshops and Continuing Education Sessions, highlight the ones that would be the most beneficial to you, then, if the answer is "YES", head over to register, and be sure to say hi when you see me there in September.

I hope you'll check out all the other contributors to the ACFW Conference Blog Tour, click here for the link to the complete listing of links.

Blessings,

Eileen

My Husband is Mine Blog Tour: For Women of all Ages in Marriages of all Stages

Okay, I feel the need to write a little forward for this, my first Kathy Carlton Willis Blog Tour posting. What a risque book I've started in on with joining her blog hosts group.

If you're like me, a little more on the conservative side than others, don't let the title or cover of Joyce S. Oglesby's book deter you from reading what it's all about. The basic premise is one I believe many of us Christian wives believe in--striving to keep passion alive within our marriage.

I read these types of books not because I worry about my husband straying, I have complete trust in my faithful hubby, I read them because I believe God wants to gift each of us with a passionate marriage for life and to receive that gift we need to do a little work now and then to bring it to life. And my man deserves a surprise, a thoughtful lift to his day every now and then, to keep him energized and help him continue being the great husband and father he is. So I don't believe this book is only for troubled marriages, I believe it will help keep passion in marriages that are already great. I also believe that men and women were made different to complement one another, but that doesn't mean we don't need to learn and adapt to the other's needs, so without further adieu, please read on and make your own assessment of this book based on the information given below...



About the Author:

Joyce Oglesby was born in South Georgia, the oldest daughter of a struggling tobacco farmer. She worked the farm alongside six brothers and a sister where her deep-rooted work ethic was born. Her tumultuous childhood proved a valuable teacher to Joyce, defining important standards and insightful wisdom with regard to life and love. She wears many hats: wife of 35 years to minister Webster Oglesby, mother, and court reporter/business owner for 30 years. They're blessed with two daughters and grandchildren. Joyce's passion is directed to women's issues. Her many speaking topics include: "Beyond This Point," "Getting Past the Past," "Choices, Consequences and Contentment," "Knowing the Hands that Touch You," "The Gift of Caregiving," "The Sacrificial Gift," "Women of Excellence," "Balancing the Scales of Mary v. Martha," among others. See: http://www.joyceoglesby.com/.

(Corydon, IN) -- Pastor's wife, Joyce S. Oglesby, felt inspired to write a relationship book out of a heavy heart for couples doomed for divorce without some sort of intervention. Her small town of Corydon, IN is buzzing about the controversial cover and title. Written similarly to the 1970s classic, Total Woman, Keeping His Pants On...Until He Gets Home equips women to affair-proof their marriages. Maintaining a passionate love in marriage has become more urgent than ever before. The demands on today's woman can distract her from fulfilling her husband's sexual needs. Losing focus of this vital responsibility has many women facing the maladies of matrimony. Joyce says, "You're either too tired, too stressed, too fat, too flat-chested, too mad, too sad, too depressed, too dirty, too clean, too selfish, or it's just too much trouble. All this can add up to too little too late!" Her warning is that husbands can soon become distracted, leading to some form of an outside physical or emotional affair, pornography, or other avenues of release. The book talks about the dangers of boredom and staleness, and how passionless relationships leave couples unfulfilled, and makes husbands prime targets for temptation.

In Keeping His Pants On...Until He Gets Home, wives learn why and how to preserve intimacy in their marriages, so they don't have to worry about where their husband's pants land when they come off. They'll be at the feet of their adoring wives, not at the bed of "the other woman."


The Interview:


Q: Why did you see the need to write this book?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: The institution of marriage and family unit as we traditionally know it is in serious trouble! My husband and I have dealt with the maladies of matrimony throughout our ministry and I have dealt with it in my career as a court reporter, as well. Label the disruption of marriage anything you want--infidelity, finances, compulsive sexual behavior, irreconcilable differences--when you plow through the rubbish, the original source of the problem almost always begins with an intimate power failure in the relationship. What better place to begin targeting this critical situation than with the woman in the home, who, in most cases, is the mover-and-shaker and creator of harmony--the barometer of the home.


Q: Why chose such a provocative cover and title?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: Why not? Ninety-five percent of the success of any book is its title and cover. If it's not catchy, people won't give it a second look. I was adamant that this cover and title be used because I'm convinced it will attract a market that would have otherwise passed it up on the bookshelves. My goal is to reach a broader audience--especially the ones that need it most.



Q: How does the book help families affair-proof their marriages?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: Within the book are 10 commonsense, back-to-basics principles that remind us of what we, as women, already know, but they're good to revisit from a different perspective. What "Pants" also brings to light is the URGENCY of its message, because NO MARRIAGE is immune to difficulty and/or staleness. This process of revitalizing our marriages is constant. We can ill-afford to let our guard down, today more than ever before. Each of the principles can stand alone. If you incorporate even one in your marriage, it enhances your relationship. But, like building blocks, if you keep adding more principles, at your own pace, then you begin to experience a richness and depth that carries you through the lean times of marriage--and we all have them.



Q: Can you give our listeners some practical tips that are found in the book?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: Certainly. The foundational concept is the obvious--commitment. You have to get up EVERY day and affirm your commitment to your husband. Your attitude is crucial, because you think your way into a mindset of love; from the emotional to the physical act, as well. If you think you don't have a sexy bone in your body, chances are you're right. So, change the way you think about yourself. We'll go through some practical applications of grooming yourself for intimacy, such as how you train him, praise him, protect him, perform for him, and others. The end result is something that benefits, empowers and fulfills you as you secure your marriage for a lifetime of love.



Q: What do you think of these so-called "emotional affairs" that are happening today? Are they dangerous to marriages and how do they creep up on people when they least expect them? How can people prevent them?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: "Emotional" affairs, such as office friendships, Internet relationships, things of this nature are extremely dangerous to a marriage. It takes our focus off of our spouses. All of a sudden, we find that we're opening our hearts to others and believe they're listening more intently than our spouses. They're saying things we like to hear. Before we know it, our spouses say all the wrong things; the other person says all the right things. We're deceived into thinking "the grass is greener." We become vulnerable to temptation. At a weak moment (and the opportunity will typically arise) the hook is set and we're caught by temptation. Some good ways to prevent this sort of thing from happening is 1) to incorporate one of the principles in the book. For instance, protect your spouse. Don't talk negative about him; if you can't find something good to say, don't go there at all, and 2) always speak of this friend's family and spouse in a positive, affirming way. It's a reminder to both of you that you're married, and you have boundaries.



Q: Some may find it odd for a 55-year-old pastor's wife to be offering sexual intimacy advice. Why do you think you are the expert in this, and why should others listen to what you have to say?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: Growing up in a home devoid of love, I wasn't really sure what a "real" marriage should consist of, but I entered marriage with some very definite ideas about what I didn't want. The principles in the book have been born from the process of developing a marriage designed to keep love in place. I didn't set out to be an "expert advisor," on marriage. My husband and I have been in the spotlight over the years because we shared a healthy relationship, and women came to me wanting to know my secrets. The tips in "Pants" have not only worked in my marriage, but they have proven to work for others. Women who truly wanted to work on their relationships with their husbands incorporated one or more of the principles and love the results. So, it's something that I know has worked in my marriage, but it has also worked in the lives of others.


Q: Contrary to popular opinion, pastors are just as at risk for temptations to draw them away from marriage intimacy as any other man. What are some things you and your husband have incorporated into your relationship to guard yourselves from these attacks and ramp up the intimacy level of your marriage?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: I believe our strong devotion to each other has been our biggest defense. Also, our public display of our devotion has kept temptation at bay. When you speak about your spouse in positive ways, when you are affectionate with each other, a kiss, a hug, (within reason, of course)--it's a terrific defense. There's that expression of "we're really in love," In restaurants, especially, we're still labeled as "honeymooners" and that's a pretty cool feeling.


Q: Pornography is at an all-time high due to the immediate availability and privacy of Internet porn. How can couples prevent this temptation from happening, and if it is already an addiction, how can a person overcome it?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: Wow! What a relevant issue! America ranks 4th in the world in porno revenue, a 13.3 billion dollar industry, and the stats change daily! I can't begin to tell you how infiltrated our homes--our CHRISTIAN homes--are with this horrific addiction. My heart has broken over close friends, ministers, long-time Christian marriages, men in their 20s to men in their 70s and everything in between, who have compromised their families and careers due to their addiction to porn. It's become epidemic!

One recommendation I would make is for women to be AWARE, and not bury their heads in the sand that this is a REAL issue in our homes today. It is too accessible! Watch your husbands; watch your kids. Watch for signs. If they're alarmed when you walk in the room and they're on the computer, insist on seeing what they were looking at. Hit the refresh key! Address the issue. Don't let it get out of hand.

If it is out of hand, FACE THE ISSUE HEAD ON! Don't walk away from the problem; thinking it will go away. These images only get embedded deeper and deeper into their psyche. Talk to someone who's been addicted; it's a fast hook! And once hooked, it's like breaking free from drugs, or even cigarette; you have withdrawals, and you always want it again--the desire rarely subsides. Your addict may need professional help, but don't ignore it. Get help fast, and make sure you connect with a counselor who treats the addiction as something inherently hazardous to your marriage--because it is!


Q: What do you see as the role of the wife in 2008? The husband? This seems to be a balanced viewpoint, but how do you refute these ideas and concepts to those who believe this is old-fashioned? To those who believe it isn't conservative enough?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: I'm very much a 21st century woman. I've been a business owner for years, and have a much more rigid, harried and unpredictable schedule than my husband. In fact, he does most of the cooking, and is quite good at it, I might add! The demands are great on both parties in a marriage; two-career families are the norm rather than the exception. Both must accept responsibilities within the home for kids, upkeep of the home, meals, and errands. But when it comes to leadership within the home, the most ideal plan is still for the man to be the spiritual leader, the woman to be submissive. This concept of submission is often misconstrued, and I believe it's because of the suppression that women have faced throughout the ages within every culture. While it's become somewhat relaxed, and often challenged, the concept is still prevalent w/in most cultures.

What men seem to miss in this idea of submission is they are called to "love their wives as Christ loved the church." If you can ever get the husband to understand this simple command--it's not an option--the wife willingly submits, or is happy to relinquish, perhaps more up-to-date terminology, control of the reins. The concept then becomes one of "you are more important than I am," and an attitude of harmony pervades in the home.


Q: Why write the book for wives and not focus on the husband's role in marital intimacy?

Joyce S. Oglesby Answers: I wrote the first book for women because we typically are the sacrificial party in a marriage. While there are exceptions to every rule, generally speaking we're mothers. We lay aside our interests and sacrifice for the families. True, we are seeing generations of women who are more focused on themselves and aren't as eager to give up the "self" within them, but for the most part, once we bear children, we put on a different cloak. We are typically the mover-and-shakers, the motivators, and designers of creativity within the home. We set the pace for harmony, even in difficult marriages. Our children look to us for the "mood" of our home life, as often do our husbands. So, writing the first book for wives then seems completely natural. But husbands, your time is coming, in book two!



Book Info:
Keeping His Pants On...Until He Gets Home Author: Joyce S. Oglesby
Order at http://www.joyceoglesby.com/
ACW Press
ISBN 978-1934668-00-9
Retail: $24.95

Top 10 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

1. Lose your inhibitions
2. Be creative and spontaneous
3. Be available for quick intimate moments
4. Don't compare
5. Praise him
6. Be available for intimacy especially during times of adversity.
7. Don't stop caring
8. Look as good as you can!
9. Don't keep score
10. Keep your mouth shut about your sex life.

Remember When and Why

Before you marry, take time to undertake this small task:

Make a list in rank and order of what you love the most about your future husband. Think back to what you were first attracted to and fast forward to today. After the wedding, place this list in a private place for you to refer to often. The list will be a great reminder of his attributes you love the most. This list will be a great motivator and will serve as a sedative at times as well, to spur you on to placin' a lovin' on your man. These are the reasons you chose him as a lifetime mate. You certainly want the world to know you made a wise choice.



A Contest for Romantics:

The Blog Tour for this segment is pleased to announce a special contest created for blog guests. On July 5, 2008 they will have a grand prize drawing for a special gift basket which will include: Keeping His Pants on Until He Gets Home Book, 12 Pillow Talk Love Notes, 2 Glasses, 1 bottle of sparkling apple-cranberry, 1 Beanpod Candles melter, Beach Walk wax soy beads, Bird of Paradise wax soy beads, and 9 tea lights. If you are interested in getting a ballot in on this free basket, please leave a comment in this posting by June 27, 2008 and I'll be sure to send in the semi-winner from this blog to the blog tour manager to get that name into the grand prize drawing.

July 1 Update: The finalist from my blog is Pamela. Pamela, I've sent your name and e-mail over to the blog tour coordinator to be entered into the Romantic Basket drawing. Good Luck!