As I work my way through the daily Love Dare challenges, my whole family being the subjects for these instructions on learning to love unconditionally, I discovered that with my husband, I always have the “honeymoon” stage of our relationship to fall back on when we hit a challenging mogul. Memories of when all was wonderful provides a framework to find balance. But with my children, there isn't such an "all rosey" memory lane to grab hold of and bask in for just a little while. Not really.
You see, I've known each of them from the day of conception. I've loved them and nurtured them even before I ever laid eyes on them, or got to hear their soft cooing baby chirps, or take in the wonderful scent that only clean babies have. In amongst all of those warm fuzzies, though, I dealt with morning sickness, uncomfortable somersaults beating at my ribs and bladder, years of nighttime feedings, diaper changes, nursing scary fevers, and so much more, all interwoven with the "honeymoon" niceties of getting to know my little cherubs.
There's absolutely no clear delineation of a "honeymoon" stage when it comes to our children. We've loved them in complete truthfulness, full disclosure, all their lives.
That made me think--is that why we don't divorce our children? Are our expectations of our children more Godly, more realistic, than that of our spouses because of the history between us?
Is it those who put too much merit on the "honeymoon" stage, rather than use memories of it to help calm the waves, that succumb to falling out of love with their spouse? How is it that we can continue to love our children through the toughest of circumstances, but yet with the one we chose to love, honour, and cherish till death do us part, many allow themselves a way out?
As I struggle with the tragedy of divorces mounting all around me, I have to ask, what separates the survivors from the succumbed?