tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post2381060514571558930..comments2023-06-20T06:22:38.967-07:00Comments on Eileen Astels <em>-- Writing Faithful Romances To Grow With</em>: Winner & A Deep QuestionEileen Astels Watsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11098531184044931737noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-70736131898392223222009-12-03T16:20:37.639-08:002009-12-03T16:20:37.639-08:00Hey Eileen,
This topic has touched a nerve. I th...Hey Eileen,<br /><br />This topic has touched a nerve. I think everyone can relate in some way.<br /><br />A year and a half ago, I lost one of my best friends to colon cancer. Katarina was a stay-at-home mother of four beautiful children, and when it became apparent that the cancer would win the race, she handled her upcoming death with as much dignity and courage as I'd ever seen. <br /><br />She planned her own funeral service, hired a live in housekeeper for her husband and youngest child (older ones at university), gave away as many of her possessions as she could and made sure to write a small letter to everyone that mattered to her. In short, she was amazing. <br /><br />I still struggle with the whole thing, and why things like this happen, even when I had the world praying for her. I guess I'll figure out the answer one day, but she sure set a great example. Her family was well prepared and knew how much she loved them.<br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />SueSusan Anne Masonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17258093329143787876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-35948339868928923992009-12-03T14:57:33.307-08:002009-12-03T14:57:33.307-08:00Eileen, It is not a secret that every single perso...Eileen, It is not a secret that every single person on earth is unique. With that comes a different set of coping skills. Some people embrace, others run from life- good or bad. Since we haven't walked in her shoes, I think it is really hard to know what she felt. I believe it wasn't easy whatever happened. Just my opinion.T. Powell Coltrinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02160774009926623671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-69678937580587870262009-12-03T09:18:10.436-08:002009-12-03T09:18:10.436-08:00Eileen, I really appreciate your post. That is a m...Eileen, I really appreciate your post. That is a mysterious decision on a dying mother's part, and I'm sure it has had permanent effects on her sons. <br /><br />I sometimes think that one of the advantages of blogging is that it leaves a record of our thoughts and feelings. in the event that something unexpected should happen and we should leave this earth without prior notice, our blogs might be a comfort to our loved ones in some way.Rosslyn Elliotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11304732306399786236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-75065262676172400902009-12-03T06:28:14.857-08:002009-12-03T06:28:14.857-08:00I think those thoughts are too deep for me this mo...I think those thoughts are too deep for me this morning. But I assume everyone has their own reason for being open or keeping something private. I guess they figure their decision is the best for their loved ones at that time and in that situation. Don't really know. Hope I don't ever have to deal with something that tragic though.Linda Kagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00259042112816376940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-37919710788404807102009-12-03T05:58:52.789-08:002009-12-03T05:58:52.789-08:00Eileen, I can't imagine the loss your husband ...Eileen, I can't imagine the loss your husband and his brother must have felt at the death of both their parents. I think about these things, then I get depressed and scared so I don't dwell. But the truth is that if I know I'm dying I will want to prepare my loved ones, so many die without the chance to say their last goodbyes. I would consider it a blessing to be able to have that chance:)Karahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03925811510913201292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-41441396621817216422009-12-03T05:37:40.492-08:002009-12-03T05:37:40.492-08:00Eileen,
This is such a tough topic and one I pray ...Eileen,<br />This is such a tough topic and one I pray I never have to confront. My friend recently passed away from cancer. She has two young daughters. She and her husband kept the daughters informed and eventually had to tell them that mommy was going to die soon. As surreal and heartbreaking as that conversation was, I believe my friend and her husband handled the situation with as much grace and faith as possible. Those of us surrounding the family learned so much by their example. <br /><br />Blessings,<br />KelliKelliGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00261710060954867880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-88140891791241963682009-12-02T15:59:04.811-08:002009-12-02T15:59:04.811-08:00Hi Eileen!
Love the new little clip art pictures ...Hi Eileen!<br /><br />Love the new little clip art pictures on your side bar!<br /><br />I would definitely want to cherish each of the last moments that I have with my children and help prepare them for my death. But then, I have a very open relationship with my children.<br /><br />Blessings, Eileen!Jody Hedlundhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12424307540530719614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-22325376041992180892009-12-02T14:07:47.954-08:002009-12-02T14:07:47.954-08:00Wow....very deep thoughts, and I guess I haven'...Wow....very deep thoughts, and I guess I haven't spent much time thinking along these lines. I do know eithout a doubt that if I knew that my death was very likely near, I would write all of my children letters. In a way that is what much of my writing is....a way for my kids to know me in a different way than they see me as 'mom'. <br />Because death very often comes without prior notice, perhaps we should all think about preparing something and updating it regularly. <br />Thank you for such a thought provoking post.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04798124104168438303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-12673533045754574232009-12-02T14:03:47.307-08:002009-12-02T14:03:47.307-08:00I've been around people in this situation, and...I've been around people in this situation, and sometimes they just can't function like they would under other circumstances. I'm sure she wanted to know the right thing to do and to say. I know I'd want to do the right thing. But if I were actually in that situation, I can't say whether I would mentally or emotionally be thinking along the same congnitive lines as I am now.Tara McClendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07246124060126729229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-47881191233630754322009-12-02T13:28:13.387-08:002009-12-02T13:28:13.387-08:00Oh, Eileen. How sad this makes me for your DH and ...Oh, Eileen. How sad this makes me for your DH and BIL. I lost my Daddy when I was ten, and it was a shock to our family. It has made me a compassionate person as a result. <br /><br />If I knew my days were numbered? I would pray like crazy for healing, but still use every moment to love those around me extravagantly. I would tell them what was going on, so their little hearts would not break in two from shock. <br /><br />Sniff!<br />Jen<br />Audience of ONEJeanette Levelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12898750484193832082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-4345321404835082852009-12-02T11:10:06.468-08:002009-12-02T11:10:06.468-08:00Hi Eileen -
My comments would be too long for thi...Hi Eileen -<br /><br />My comments would be too long for this venue. If you'd like to communicate by email, please let me know.<br /><br />susanjreinhardt (at) gmail (dot) com<br /><br />Blessings,<br />SusanSusan J. Reinhardthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07461276857852409546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-72685881947499398592009-12-02T11:07:46.396-08:002009-12-02T11:07:46.396-08:00Someone asked me a question once: if I were going ...Someone asked me a question once: if I were going to die in one month's time, would I want to know about it? I think my answer to that question - and to yours - would be yes. I think I would appreciate the chance to savor each day and embrace things that I'd normally take for granted. I would want to know if my loved ones were in the same situation. But everyone deals with their grief in different ways - maybe your mother-in-law believed that she could protect her children from grieving before they needed to.Julie Daohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814052162359300933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-52283145060266654172009-12-02T10:56:48.206-08:002009-12-02T10:56:48.206-08:00I don't have children, but I would want to pre...I don't have children, but I would want to prepare my family (husband, brother, sister) the best that I could. I do not believe that precludes receiving a miracle. I feel for your husband and his brother. How horrible to lose both parents at such a young age.Tamara (TC) Stapleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00633350990983632539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-53149991444730985032009-12-02T10:26:13.309-08:002009-12-02T10:26:13.309-08:00Been there, done that. In 2001 I was diagnosed wi...Been there, done that. In 2001 I was diagnosed with 4th stage lymphoma. It was very hard for me to tell my daughter, even though I believed God would heal me. I worried about her. She had experienced too many deaths, and I knew she would not have the same hope that I had.<br /><br />I think there is little difference between sharing your journey of hope and preparing for death. It's just a matter of attitude.<br /><br />Through my personal ordeal, I learned what Jesus meant when He said, "Your faith has healed you."Lillian Robinsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13488638666900705015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-86526142284448660662009-12-02T09:48:51.964-08:002009-12-02T09:48:51.964-08:00I am sorry that she left them in that condition. I...I am sorry that she left them in that condition. It definitely didn't help them. Only hurt them. I suppose she thought she was doing the best thing for them. But clearly it wasn't. I would want everyone to know. I would have things that I needed to say. <br /><br />And this really got me to thinking. It's hard to place myself in her shoes, but I would not make the same decision she did.<br /><br />I am going to write letters. To all six boys, the one girl and the hubby too. To be read in the event of my death. Thanks for this post.Robyn Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17356555082768185840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-24868530183872557012009-12-02T09:12:51.304-08:002009-12-02T09:12:51.304-08:00Well, you really got me thinking with this one. I...Well, you really got me thinking with this one. I think I'd talk to my children. Like you said, they are far more important than my life.Susan R. Millshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09578747592345750650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-69202147857622923102009-12-02T09:01:12.226-08:002009-12-02T09:01:12.226-08:00The older I get, the more I realize and accept the...The older I get, the more I realize and accept the mysteries of life; why people act and respond so differently.<br />My condolences to you and your family.Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08180243708565855383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-48776884621761059682009-12-02T08:41:36.479-08:002009-12-02T08:41:36.479-08:00This is a tough subject. I feel terrible for your ...This is a tough subject. I feel terrible for your husband and brother. While many will not agree with me, I believe in honesty. Twelve and ten are old enough for those kids to have been given the truth, and it might have helped their healing process if she showed them that respect. But, we do live in a different time, now, so I can't judge.Jill Kemererhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07865493609868329393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-70617441819728802232009-12-02T08:32:50.848-08:002009-12-02T08:32:50.848-08:00I can understand why she'd want to protect her...I can understand why she'd want to protect her children, but I know the pain from not knowing is so great. I'm so sorry your husband had to experience that. <br /><br />Congrats to GRITS!Kristen Torres-Torohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903038121623389560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-18114652457239867612009-12-02T08:31:22.888-08:002009-12-02T08:31:22.888-08:00Eileen, we went through something similar with a m...Eileen, we went through something similar with a member of our church last year. I agree with your thoughts about telling your loved ones. God will definitely bring a miracle if that's his will but it also helps to have that extra support and prayer from family. And, it gives you that extra time to spend it with your family.Cindy R. Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13488732331021750408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-79924391223760768202009-12-02T08:28:31.076-08:002009-12-02T08:28:31.076-08:00It's so hard to say what we would or wouldn...It's so hard to say what we would or wouldn't do when faced with a situation like this. I would hope I would prepare my family as best I could.<br /><br />Having just been through all of this with my own MIL, I've learned anew that everyone handles grief differently, and that the person who is ravaged by cancer goes through a grieving process too.Erica Vetschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08772984806574666959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-27355615284511098222009-12-02T07:54:34.984-08:002009-12-02T07:54:34.984-08:00Eileen, it's a question I've never allowed...Eileen, it's a question I've never allowed myself to think, for it breaks my heart to imagine myself in such a place with my little ones. But you've brought up a fresh and important perspective, and now I'll have to consider it. I think being prepared is always what's best, don't you?Janna Leadbetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-65426248142973794002009-12-02T07:49:58.149-08:002009-12-02T07:49:58.149-08:00Well, you've got me in tears. With very young...Well, you've got me in tears. With very young children I almost wonder if it would be better not to let them know very far in advance. They may as well enjoy the time with their mom instead of worrying when she's going to die. Of course when it's imminent it would be right to tell them. I think the letters are a great idea. I'd just want to leave them knowing that they are the most important people in my life and that I'll love them forever.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00861022355718378425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-28385874362450548352009-12-02T07:34:16.371-08:002009-12-02T07:34:16.371-08:00Oooh, tough subject. I have a neighbor whose mom w...Oooh, tough subject. I have a neighbor whose mom was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been given a 3 months to live. I tried to put myself in her situation. There would be so much I would want to say and convey to the people I love. Like you said, I think that would be a great gift to leave with them.Jennifer Shirkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16970585847385511795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-48006280176372332122009-12-02T06:45:35.385-08:002009-12-02T06:45:35.385-08:00Oh my. Deep thoughts this morning. I'm certain...Oh my. Deep thoughts this morning. I'm certain of one thing: there's not a standard answer since everyone's situation is vastly different. Sorry to hear about the person in your church. It's truly heartbreaking.Georgiana Danielshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08148430180111786272noreply@blogger.com