tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post6863450365178255291..comments2023-06-20T06:22:38.967-07:00Comments on Eileen Astels <em>-- Writing Faithful Romances To Grow With</em>: Love Is...Eileen Astels Watsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11098531184044931737noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-27419392175187924582009-09-15T06:32:12.830-07:002009-09-15T06:32:12.830-07:00It's terribly sad. I praise God for carrying u...It's terribly sad. I praise God for carrying us through the hard times, as I know everyone has them. Especially when kids are involved, it's heartbreaking. Thanks for the post and the reminder about commitment!Georgiana Danielshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08148430180111786272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-87072721505384113482009-09-12T07:02:57.369-07:002009-09-12T07:02:57.369-07:00I hear what Wendy is saying. My cousin's husb...I hear what Wendy is saying. My cousin's husband left and she still hasn't totally gotten over it. She has remarried, but she still grieves the 'what if' part. She hated the divorce, but he would not stay. It is a death, only they still live. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My heart goes out to anyone who goes through it. No one goes unscathed. Now we can understand why God hates divorce.Carmenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00614963475107648947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-19972607733573518522009-09-11T18:27:37.813-07:002009-09-11T18:27:37.813-07:00I spent an hour today talking to a man whose wife ...I spent an hour today talking to a man whose wife just took him to court. They are not divorced, just separated so far, but his payments to her will leave him so broke he won't have money to live on himself. Literally. Where there should be love there is greed on the one hand and now intense anger on the other. I am grieving now for them and the kids.<br /><br />You touched on several vitally important topics. Commitment is so key. I stress that in wedding ceremonies. Why do we have a vow? I believe that is what hold us together when the emotions struggly. Problem is, vows don't mean today what they once did.<br /><br />I really appreciate Wendy's comments, too.<br /><br />Outstanding post!<br />wbWarren Baldwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17956713921509659993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-62058846432001341642009-09-11T14:45:20.889-07:002009-09-11T14:45:20.889-07:00I think you summarized the ups and downs of marria...I think you summarized the ups and downs of marriage well. We live in a throw away society. And so when things get tough or "broken" we throw it away, even marriages. Instead of sticking with it and weathering the hard times. Just like with writing too, right? We stick with it during the hard times because we're committed!Jody Hedlundhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12424307540530719614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-60216896635482404182009-09-11T14:22:04.904-07:002009-09-11T14:22:04.904-07:00Thanks for your heartfelt post, Eileen.
I think f...Thanks for your heartfelt post, Eileen.<br /><br />I think for many of us there is a danger in thinking marriage will be the stuff of romance novels and movies. However, we who write romances know how much our characters must suffer in order to change and grow into the partner the other needs.<br /><br />That growth and hard work continue after the vows are said. If anything, the challenges and struggles will become greater as children, health issues, financial struggles, aging parents, etc. come into the mix. Marriage isn't an end. It's a beginning. And it takes commitment and hard work.<br /><br />Gwynly and I have been married twenty-one years, and some of those were challenging, but our faith in the Lord, our commitment and our unwillingness to entertain thoughts counterproductive to our marriage have seen us through. The result is a friendship and a love deeper than anything I ever dreamed of.Keli Gwynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13236868298400593688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-32673326979704589742009-09-11T14:02:30.165-07:002009-09-11T14:02:30.165-07:00Thanks for this poignant post, Eileen. It brought ...Thanks for this poignant post, Eileen. It brought tears to my eyes. My upset with my Honey over when we are going to replace our too-old car seems quite petty now. <br />Blessings on all our marriages. <br />Jen<br />Audience of ONEJeanette Levelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12898750484193832082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-66020144578699687202009-09-11T11:23:20.112-07:002009-09-11T11:23:20.112-07:00i love this post. i love your heart behind it. and...i love this post. i love your heart behind it. and my heart also pleads for fresh starts and steadfast faithfulness for those who have been through divorce. i'm reading Christina Bery's debut novel The Familiar Stranger. such a great book for struggling marriages. there CAN be a fresh slate.<br /><br />jeannie<br /><a href="http://mindhealingfiction.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">Where Romance Meets Therapy</a>Jeannie Campbell, LMFThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13958943404601029395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-25165035246829618512009-09-11T11:08:38.151-07:002009-09-11T11:08:38.151-07:00Wendy Love, your story broke my heart! I pray joy ...Wendy Love, your story broke my heart! I pray joy over your life to wipe away every pain you have endured. Thankfully we have an awesome God. I've sen my friends marriage's dissolve and it grieves me and scares me. I'd like to think my marriage is rock solid but Wendy is right Satan needs very little help to destroy.Tanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10518718614911804428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-13567755491440109722009-09-11T08:46:55.260-07:002009-09-11T08:46:55.260-07:00Great post, Eileen! It made me want to go call my...Great post, Eileen! It made me want to go call my husband.Susan R. Millshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09578747592345750650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-27519062593726068902009-09-11T08:17:24.487-07:002009-09-11T08:17:24.487-07:00Wendy, I am sorry for your loss, and thank you for...Wendy, I am sorry for your loss, and thank you for shining your light of wisdom here. <br /><br />I get the dissolving marriages over faithfulness and abuse, I totally understand that, but what about the ones who give up on marriage when neither faithfulness or abuse is the cause? That's were I really struggle with a lack of commitment in one or both partners. I really feel for them and all that they have lost in just giving up on one another. <br /><br />Thanks for sharing the needs of those who are dealt this path. Now I know that it's okay to give them a hug and just say "I'm sorry". I often thought that they'd just prefer to brush it aside, but that didn't seem right either.Eileen Astels Watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11098531184044931737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-85348157212217695822009-09-11T08:02:00.174-07:002009-09-11T08:02:00.174-07:00Eileen,
What a heartfelt cry you have expressed in...Eileen,<br />What a heartfelt cry you have expressed in today's post. I am a christian and was happily married to my first husband for 24 years. The day he announced he was leaving was a complete shock to me. I still have not figured it all out. But I can say this... it only takes one moment, one thought, that 'maybe I could be happier outside of this marriage' and Satan will jump right in and give you all the help you need. It takes very little. Anyone who knew us as a couple and knew my husband was totally shocked that he had an affair. It can happen to anyone. We need to be strong and resist. My husband was not strong.<br />For anyone out there not totally experienced in this area, as they watch others break up, here are some tips. For many, love did not die...someone just made a bad choice. <br />When a marriage ends, it is a death, and yet...there is no funeral, and no one comes to visit and say how sorry they are. No one came to see me and remember the good things about my marriage and what a nice guy my husband was. <br />Now that I know what it is like, I always treat the person going through a divorce as if there has been a death and I tell them how sorry I am.<br />Usually, especially in the christian world, you get only judgment, not sympathy, as you navigate the dark waters of divorce. The lack of outside support doubles the pain. <br />BUT God! God is there no matter what we go through and I can testify that he picked me up and put his arms around me and carried me through.<br />It has been 14 years now and I still think of my first husband frequently, still cry over the loss of what was so precious to me, still grieve. God has given me a new life and a good life, but the pain is still there as well as the regret.<br />I think that often people on the outside assume that we divorced people 'get over it' and 'move on' and I am sure some do. But there are probably others like me. I moved on, but I did not get over it.<br />I am not sharing all of this to be morose but to bring understanding. I hope this might shed some light on this subject for those who have not experienced it firsthand.Wendy Lovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11593979032502581434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-53831094057734121052009-09-11T08:01:08.357-07:002009-09-11T08:01:08.357-07:00I think the fact that so many marriages do fall ap...I think the fact that so many marriages do fall apart makes it even more valuable when two people do make that commitment to each other and stick with it over the long haul.Stephanie Farishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461865229341760836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-46597859220898060642009-09-11T06:47:48.703-07:002009-09-11T06:47:48.703-07:00Awesome post Eileen! I absolutely agree about the ...Awesome post Eileen! I absolutely agree about the commitment part. There's so much to be said, but I have to go now so I just want you to know how well you said this, and how kindly. :-)Jessica Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365768876905444157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-1093844809461392082009-09-11T05:53:07.685-07:002009-09-11T05:53:07.685-07:00I think your last paragraphy says it all...constan...I think your last paragraphy says it all...constantly turning things over to God is the best protection. I love my man, but we work at this marriage thing.<br />~ WendyWendy Paine Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15136235074351188350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-30673397031633564582009-09-11T05:46:36.246-07:002009-09-11T05:46:36.246-07:00What an honest post. I love that you don't glo...What an honest post. I love that you don't gloss over the tough periods of marriage. I feel so blessed to be married to my husband.Jill Kemererhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07865493609868329393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-69938185592433911542009-09-11T05:35:57.030-07:002009-09-11T05:35:57.030-07:00divorce is indeed very sad. My parents are divorce...divorce is indeed very sad. My parents are divorced and even though I know it was the right (only) choice my mother had (the relationship was violent) it is still sad that happily ever after will never be.Tabitha Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08196816108272065974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5046333608458306911.post-10363081685786817212009-09-11T04:23:58.062-07:002009-09-11T04:23:58.062-07:00Good post. Two of my cousins, in one months time ...Good post. Two of my cousins, in one months time have filed for divorce and I am saddened by it all.Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07604687906788800639noreply@blogger.com